And The Days Go By......Like A Strand In The Wind
Well...finally I have a day knowing I do not have a 12 hour night shift staring back at me. I have had a few interesting moments since I last blogged. This morning after completeing my shift I came home and found my nephew was determined to stay with me all day and NOT go to the baby sitter. One look at his beautiful face and I could not say no. So Here i sit,not having slept since yesterday afternoon at 1pm. THEN people wonder WHY Ronnie can sleep for such long periods of time when given the chance. LOL. I visited my friend Marie yesterday before work. Her and I sat around and talked about things that are going on in our lives at the moment and for fun watched THE incriminating video tape she has of me. Which is an unlabeled tape and HIDDEN. This was taken in 1997 and while looking at it Marie asked if I am still one to NOT pass up a dare. Unfortunately for me I am still that way. LOL. Maybe that can be a New Years resolution. Actually, I already have my New Years solution. That being to stay clean. Speaking of staying clean. My good friend Christine called me at work on Saturday night. This is ONE crazy ass girl. Her and I use to work together and when meeting it was like "OMG...this is scary...her actions,responses and fuck you attitude are all like me". Christine and I had some really great fun times. She could smoke a rock, drink an 80 and walk a straight line better than anyone I have ever known. She was calling me and telling me that she was going to have surgery Monday (today)on her hand (Carpal Tunnel) and we caught up on old times. I have not had much time to speak with her and do things with her lately. he being busy with her life and me in mine. She said she was so scared aboout not surviving the surgery she went out and blew her check on "Snow". I told her it was only a LOCAL surgery. She wasn't going to be knocked COMPLETELY out. I told her how i have been clean for a bit now and after that the conversation seemed to drift a little. I felt that after I said that she felt her and I didnt have much in common anymore. Sad really. She is a good person with a wonderful heart. I will burn a candle for her tonight i think. I saw a video this weekend on VH1 Classics from the 80's that I had not seen in forever. While siiting and watching it I realized now whatthat song was about. That being drugs. I had no clue back then as a teen. I just liked the song cause I thought she was Hot. LOL. Anyway ,this song has taken on a new meaning for me and I will be playing it much to Toms delight (raising right eyebrow and evily pouting). But in all honesty the song totally sums up why i started using and how i felt during my using.
Artist: Martika
Song: Toy Soldiers
Step by step,heart to heart,left right left, we all fall down.....like Toy Soldiers
It wasnt my intention to mislead you
It never should have been this way.........what can I say
Its true... I did extend the invitation
I never knew how long you'd stay
When you hear temptation call
Its your heart that takes......takes the fall
(Won't you come out and play with me)
Step by step
Heart to heart
Left right left.... we all fall down.....like Toy Soldiers
Bit by bit
Torn apart
We never win....but the battle rages on......for Toy Soldiers
It's getting hard to wake up in the morning
My head is spinning constantly,,,,,how can it be
How could I be so blind to this addiction? If i don't stop....the next one's gonna be me
Only emptiness remains...........it replaces all-----all the pain
(Won't you come out and play with me)
Step by step
Heart to heart
Left right left....we all fall down....like Toy Soldiers
Bit by bit
Torn apart
We never win
Still the battle rages on.....for Toy Soldiers................(You'll never win.....Won't you come out and play with me)
Well, tomorrow is the last day of 2002. We will all be going to a New Years Party. Which I think will be alot of fun. I am also glad to see on Bobs Blog that he is doing ok. His last posting made me want to find him and just give him a hug. He is a great guy from what i have come to know and I am in total agreement about us becoming great friends. I hope that Tom is feeling better. he looked so pitiful while he was ill. He ALMOST had me feeling sorry for him. LMAO. (Joking...wink)
My Views On Gays In The Military: I think gays have the right to kill and be killed just like anyone else............as long as it doesnt leave any of the beauty salons short handed
Yesterday was a great day I am thankful to say. Though I am glad that all the "hoop-la" is over and done. The best part about yesterday was actually having my little sister call from Mississippi. I Miss her so much. She called and we talked for atleast 2 hours. The best part is she is going to be coming home on January 15th which is a wednesday and I AM OFF THAT WEEKEND. Yess!!! Anyway, while we were talking she asked If i had plans for that weekend and i told her ANY plans could be scraped for her. So, she told me that for that particular weekend she has booked a 3 day trip for her AND I in Lexington at a SPA Resort!!!! I am so excited. Just her and I together catching up on everything and being waited on hand and foot and not to mention enjoying the "Sights".
Upon arriving at work yesterday i received report from a nurse who is actually the youngest nurse employed there. A real sweet girl though I have noticed many of them treat her like SHIT. Bless her heart...she had not one but TWO residents die on her yesterday. They were both terminally ill residents and had been recieving HOSPICE care. after she left one of the older nurses (yes i do mean older... she is 73 years old for christ sake) decided to make a smart ass fucking remark about her to me. She said "That certainly does not look good...having TWO residents die on your shift". I couldn't help myself. THAT remark INFURIATED me. Who the FUCK did this women THINK she was??? I looked at her and said "YOU KNOW...to be critiqueing some one elses nursing capabilities is COMPLETLY ETHICALLY AND MORALLY UNPROFESSIONAL... Not to mention...have you ever thought that maybe whatever higher power we do have guiding us actually CHOSE HER to help them cross to the other side? CHOOSING her because she is infact one of THE most kind hearted AND COMPASSIONATE human beings that I have EVER had the pleasure working with AND knowing...So if you are through giving me your report maybe you should go home and sleep on THAT." I HATE fucking KNOW IT ALLS who in all reality KNOW absolutely NOTHING.
Quote Of The Day: If Only People Cared As Much About Being Honest As They Do About Being Smart
Sorry, that I have not posted anything in a few days. I have been spending time with friends. We went to a killer drag show last night and saw a wondeful,talented performer Toni Mikeals (i know this is probably spelled wrong and Goddamn Thomas will simply relish in that fact). I have finally finished up all my Christmas shopping. I absolutely LOVE a DOLLAR TREE and DOLLAR GENERAL. I feel like a Millionaire in those "some om a bitches" (to quote Reggie Mac). It is back to work tonight. Yippe I Aye Cow FUCKIN' Patty (rolls eyes).
I must say that everything with being clean and sober had actually been going ok until yesterday. Some strange shit. I had these really REALLY bad cravings yesterday. On the way to the see the show I actually ran a fucking red light cause I was zoning. All Thomas could say was..."Now just think what you would be doing IF you were actually high". Mood swings from HELL to boot. I cant explain why I was actually in one of those cravings mode, It has been like 7 weeks now clean but I definetely was.
JellyBean is here. He decided to come and torture me a little while before work. LOL. He watched the movie BAPS (with Halle Berry) while I was away and so when he wants you to be quiet his new phrase is...."Not another word....Not another syllable...HEYYYYYY Shut UP". I remember when I was a kid around Christmas time...all one had to do was frighten me with the sentence "Santa Clause IS watching You".. Damn, THAT use to scare the fuck out of me! NOT JellyBean.I found myself saying "A.J...Chill out...Santa Clause is watching you"...so what does he keep doing..turning the volume UP on the television. So i repeated myself. "A.J. Santa Caluse is watching you"....(no reponse from AJ the television has found its way to ear bleeding volume status). Finally... i do what every other normal child raising adult would do. I scream... "A.J. SANTA CLAUSE IS WATCHING YOU"!!!!!!!!! Turning down the volume the demon seed replys.' UNC...Santa Clause is watching YOU....acting all CRAZY!!!!!!!". I turn and head for the bathroom to chill out so I do not commit a crime that would call for the local social worker to knock at my door.
Finally did some of my long overdue Christmas shopping. Why is it that "Mothers" are the hardest people in the world to shop for?
Who else besides me is sick and tired of hearing non smokers complain about smokers. My father decided to inform me today that if i continue to smoke the way i do i am going to die before I am 40. My response to him "What the hell do you care if I am killing myself. It seems to me THIS act would have been HIGH on your Christmas wish list".
DESIGNING WOMEN
SCENARIO: Suzanne takes up smoking to lose weight,getting much criticism from her co-workers
Mary Jo: PHEWWW (cough,cough)!!! Smells like someone has been smoking in here?
Charlene: There has........Suzanne. Seems she is taking up smoking to lose weight.
Mary Jo: Well thats great Suzanne.....Why don't you just burn some old tires in here while you are at it.
Suzanne: OH Please Mary Jo.....ya know----I am sick and tired of all you self-righteous non smokers always lecturing everybody else. I mean,if we're trying to outlaw unattractive habits,why don't we out law nose-picking in your car at 60 miles an hour!!!!!
And the rain was there..........
There were many nights.........
And a few of them were all that you had dreamed of
Love was the thing........
And you feel as if-----someone was following you
But you know you are wrong..........
It's just the ghost of what you want to be
And the ghost of the past that you love in..............
Song: GHOSTS
Album: The Other Side Of The Mirror
Stevie Nicks 1989
I just had an hour phone conversation with one of my best friends. Marie. Marie and I are brother and sister who were inevitably seperated at birth. I met Marie in May of 1994 while I was working in The Emergency Room. She had just moved to the area from Philadelphia and was a blood collector for the lab. She was so nervous that day and most of the nurses who worked in the E.R. were extremely busy working on an MVA that had arrived. I could tell Marie was lost and had absolutely NO idea where the patient was located that she had been summoned to stick. I introduced myself to her and showed her where to find him. We started getting to know each other on our smoke breaks and in a matter of a few days had formed an incredible relationship that has lasted now for 8 years. I was in her wedding,we went to Disney World together,we went to nursing school together and helped her through the delivery of her last child. We are so connected mentally that I can "feel" when she needs me and vice a versa. Upon answering the phone tonight,before even saying "Hello" she said "Whats the matter". I said "Well, hello to you to". Her response "Cut the bullshit and tell me whats the matter". She just KNEW. We talked for over an hour and it was a long overdue talk. I Love this woman so much and I am so happy to call her my friend. We have had so many wonderful times together. For instance, when we were in nursing school preparing for graduation, The nursing instructors attempted EVERYTHING in making sure Marie and I sat NO WHERE near each other. But they were aliging everyone by height and we EXAXCTLY the same in height. Well during graduation we were sitting there listening to the valedictorian of our class give her speech and were trying to be silent while speaking to each other. Marie had just gotten married and she decided to keep her maiden AND middle name. So, i realized that when they called her name they would call"Marie Suzanne Rothstein-Williams. So, I made a comment to her in regards that she would soon have "More names than Elizabeth Taylor". Well she lost it. She began laughing uncontrollably and of all things laughed so hard she actually urinated on herself. I still joke with her today about having to walk down in front of everyone to get her diploma with "Pissy Drawers".Then again i better stop exposing all of things i know on her as she does TO THIS DAY have a VERY INCRIMINATING Video cassette of me. She reminds me,if by any chance,i EVER become famous to remember her because The National Enquirerer would KILL to have that Expose'.
I guess i should apologize to Tom about the revenge remark from yesterday,in regards to Stevie Nicks. He told me that he was in no way dissing Stevie Nicks, that he likes Stevie and i should know that. Any remark made about Stevie is taken personally by me and that crazy bitch should know that by now. LOL. Still, I had moved on past the "half eaten ungreased corn cob" envision and had settled into the idea of locating a "Rabid Dog" :-) Yet, I still may get that for my sisters boyfriend. Unless by some small miracle his ass gets transfered to Kwait instead.
Is It me that is driving you to this madness..........
Then there is one thing that I would like to say
Take a look at your life and your lovers........
You can see NOTHING ever changes..........
Just read Goddamn Thomas's blog entry for his hit list. His comments on Stevie Nicks are grounds for punishment of some sort. I will have to mull over his form of punishment very delicately. I am imagining him freshly waxed,tied to four stakes,spread eagled and a half eaten corn cobb ungreased aimed directly for his asshole.:-)
Today has been one of those days. I was all set to spend some time with "Lestatt" today and then realized that the ingrediants i had purchased to make my annual Jelly and Jams would be spoiled if i did not use them today. I am truly lucky in the fact that "Lestatt" is such an understanding guy. I really do enjoy spending time with him. It is quite a "Comfortable" relationship that he and i have. He has arrived to a place with me that few people ever do. He is a treasured "Friend....with benefits". LOL. To only have known him for a short time,he knows more about me than most of my child hood friends. I really DO have to credit him with helping me overcome my addiction. He said something very special to me one day that reminded me of my strength and comforted my fears. HE probably doesn't even remember. They were in fact very small words spoken, but carried more meaning than i think HE even realizes. A good guy. I've got your back Dad.
I spoke with my little sister again today and she is doing better. She told me that her boyfriend said that i need "Anger Management" classes. LMAO. As if THIS was something i DID NOT already know. Better yet, Tell me something i already HAVE NOT been told.He still has his "dues" coming to him. Unfortuanetly i AM NOT one to forgive and I do have a terrible Vengeful side to me. He should have met me when i was younger. LOL. I am way calmer now.
My mother is in one of her usual "Holiday Funks". This is the time of year she really pulls out her "Guilt Trip" cards. Always reminding everyone that we should accomodate her requests as this could be "Her last Christmas". I finally looked at her today and said "Mother..you say this every year". She said "Well,,,,its true. One time i will say this and it will come true". I looked at her and replied "Well...yeah Ma...thats inevedible..you ARE going to die sometime". She truly looked horrified. LOL.
Spoke with a lady today who also works at the nursing home where i am currently employed . She is rumoured to have had an affair with my father AND my grandfather many years ago. LOL. She said to me "The older you get,the more like your father you look....you know you are about the only SPADY boy that I have NOT slept with". My response "And you WON'T...... Im GAY lady".
My favorite clip from the television show DESIGNING WOMEN
SCENARIO: Accidentally hitting Mary Jo's parked car,Suzanne agrees to repay the debt by aiding Mary Jo in her search of finding a man. Which leads them to a Grocery store. After many unsuccessful attempts Suzanne spots 2 guys.
Suzanne: "Hey Mary Jo, what about those two guys? Wait....NAh forget it."
Mary Jo: "Where? Oh... they are cute...Why should i forget it? They are the best we have seen so far".
Suzanne: "Because Mary Jo.... two guys, one cart,fresh pasta.....figure it out!"
I spoke with my little sister today and she is having boyfriend troubles,AGAIN. I seriously do NOT understand WHY she continues to stay with this short black smurf. Now it seems he is breathing down her back to go to the gym and lose some weight. He also keeps telling her that her breasts are entirely too large? This bitch sounds gay to me. What guy would NOT want his girlfriend or wife to have big breasts? Needless to say, once she started crying thats all it took for me. I had him get on the telephone. I proceeded to tell him that he better back the fuck off of my little sis and to go to sleep tonight knowing that I have absolutely NO QUALMS of coming down to Mississippi,slicing his black throat from ear to ear and fucking dragging him behind my HONDA PASSPORT. I repeat NO QUALMS>>>ABSOLUTELY NONE. What the fuck would i care about going to jail. I could get free dental care,free meals AND free protection from anyone there. Because I would have NO problems finding me a man in there and becoming Queen of Cell Block C. All his response was "She is over exagerrating,its not like that man". What the fuck ever. So now he really has reason to call me a "Psycho Faggott". My little sister is my best friend. I have had her back so many times. The last boyfriend she had while still at home was a total loser. I heard from someone that he had actually hit her while they were at a party one night. So, the next day i went to his work. I stood in line with all the other customers there at McDonalds that day and waited my turn for him to take my order. He kept looking at me the entire time wondering why i was staying in HIS line and not going to the register that was open without a line. Finally..It was my turn. He asked if he could take my order and I snatched him by the shirt and spit in his face. Told that mother fucker if he EVER thought about hitting my sister I would fuck his mother in the ass and gut his dog. They broke up a week later and I had a No Trespassing Warrant served on me from McDonalds. LOL. I can not tolerate seeing a woman getting abused whether it be mentally or physically by anyone. Much less my sister. Any man that hits a woman is simply a coward and a pussy. I am seriously contemplating a quick road trip this weekend to Mississippi to torture that fucker. He will pay. T-R-U-S-T!
Here is a cute compliation list that was sent to me by my good friend Spring. Who,by the way, has the most drop dead gorgeoues Italian husband I have ever had the honor of seeing nude.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A NURSE WHEN:
1. The front of your scrubs read "Here to SAVE your ass,NOT kiss it!"
2. You occassionaly park in the space with the "Physicians Only" sign, and upon getting out of your vehicle knocking it over (intentionally).
3. You've ever told a patient to "Move towards the light".
4. You believe that all the patients need is some VITAMIN A ( Ativan).
5. You believe that some patients are alive ONLY because it's illegal to kill them.
6. You always follow the rules,but are wise enough to forget them sometimes.
7. You believe any family member who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient is the real problem.
8. You can't cure stupid.
9. You believe if it's wet and sticky and NOT yours,leave it alone!
10. You believe that just because someones license date is before yours does NOT mean that they know what they are doing.
11. The only difference between the symbols L.P.N. and R.N is that the first is a Low Paid Nurse (LPN) and the other is the Rich Nurse (RN).
12. You have seen more "Moons" than the Hubble telescope.
13. To you the phrase "Divide And Conquer" means getting two co-workers to help you change the bedsore dressing in the crack of a 400lb patient
14. You ever secretly wanted to mix crazy glue into the lube while inserting a foley catheter on a patient who has consistently been pulling them
out while restrained during your shift.
15. You ever had a patient die shortly after saying " hey...watch this".
16. You no longer have a gag reflex.
17. If you have ever written the number 45 on a patients chart to alert the other nurses that this patient is not playing with a full deck of
chromosones.
18. You hope that there is a special place in HELL for the inventor of the call light.
19. You believe that ALL patients are NOT annoying, some are dead.
20. You have ever thought "Patients,GOD love'em,cause today I sure dont".
21. You call some of your co-workers "Flowers In The Field" because they are BLOOMING idiots.
22. If you have ever refered to an intoxicated patient as a FORD (Found On Road Drunk).
23. You ever used the acronyms F.T.D. (Fixin' To Die) or L.T.B.B. (Lucky To Be Breathing)
24. If you have ever thought that a stethescope or a blood pressure cuff would make excellent Christmas gifts.
25. Anything that can go wrong,will go wrong And if nothing has gone wrong,you obviously have not understood the situation.
Love Is A Word That Some Entertain......When You Find It-----You Have Won The Game.
Stevie Nicks 1981
As I mentioned in my 100 things about me list, I write poetry and have had one poem published. I am going to place this here on my blog. This poem is entitled SHADOW HILL. I wrote this poem when i was in my younger 20's. I can still remember the exact time and place where I wrote this. People I have actually shared this with have asked me who is the poem in reference to? Is it based upon Stevie Nicks? Actually.....No its not. Everything that I have written is in some form or another about me. I add things within the story that I have created to attempt to destract away any references about me. So that nothing within my creations are *TO* serious. After I wrote this poem I mailed it to an address I had for Stevie Nicks. Thanking her for helping me find a way to release these stories that I conjour. About 3 months or so later after having mailed that I received a response back. Something I clearly was not planning on. Enclosed was a personal autographed 8 x 10 of Stevie and a card. The card said "Ronnie....Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For ME....yes--- YOU have. I treasure your creation and identify with the character...Thank you". This was all around 1994. So for now......here is SHADOW HILL
She lives like a missionary in her mansion on Shadow HIll
Caressing windows of lace....still-----blackness is all she feels
A burning of incense-----a ritual of Frankincense
Beautiful as time........graceful,yet,ageless as wine
This black widow woman.
She slips behind the doorway....where so many men have longed to stay
Not today she'd say........Come back tomorrow----I will light a path your way
So alone she is again on Shadow Hill.
She stands under her stars and bathes her soul with their rain
Reminding herself it is merely one more link in the chain
Her eyes are the color of fire.......Her hands produce the flames
A smoldering ember is how she feels
This black widow woman on Shadow Hill
Just a thought: If you were given the chance to confront the person or persons who caused you considerable amount of hurt....what would you say to them? To My Father I say This..............
After all you put me through
You would think I despise you
But in the end.... I want to thank you
Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
It made me learn a little bit faster
It made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So......thanks for making me----a fighter
You enjoy going around playing the victim now
But don't even begin feeling I am the one to blame
Because you dug your own grave
So... you may think that I hold resentment for you
But you see....if it wasn't for all the things you attempted to do......to destroy me
I would never have realized how capable I am to pull through
This man that my mother long ago thought she knew
Turned out to to be unjust.....so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to know the truth
You tried to hide your lies......disguise yourself
By living in denial.............You still cant face the truth
Its over......Because if it wasnt for all your torture
I wouldnt know how to be this way now----and never backing down
So... I want to say......Thank you
A Thought On The Profession Of Nursing And Its Origions:
Florence Nightengale went through the night with an oil lamp in her hand going tent to tent to help the sick
She also eventually died of SYPHILLIS!!!!
Just *HOW* did she help those wounded soldiers? LMAO... This is a true fact by the way
Well work was rather interesting last night. I was placed on the "Right " side of the facilty which consists of Skilled Care residents and Alzheimers residents. NO ONE wants to work this side of the facility from what I am told. Even the UNIT MANAGER refers to it as "The Ghetto" One particular resident is as cute as a button. However,she can also be what some of us "Seasoned" nurses refer to as a "PITA" (Pain In The Ass). We had to run this lady down ALL NIGHT long. She went into one residents room and decided that she didnt care for her sleeping habits,therefore,slapping her in the face continously until she awoken. THEN she preceded to go into another residents room and decided that she didnt care for her Christmas tree OR the television program she was watching. SO....she proceeded to destroy the christmas tree,breaking every bulb within hands reach AND pushing her televison to the floor causing an earth shattering explosion that alerted everyone in the facility that this "Demon Seed" was on a rampage. I finally was able to bring her to the nurses station and entertain her. She loves Doll babys so at 3am there i sat with the grinch boucing a baby on one knee and burping another. While she attempted to change the diaper on the one doll she fancies. I couldnt help but to be reminded that I HAD the chance to call in sick and attend a Christmas party with everyone...but NOOOO i thought being a good nurse meant ALSO being dependable and actually showed up for work. I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT TIME LAST NIGHT at the Christmas Party (scowl) I REALLY wished i could have attended. I have decided to simply blame last night on an age old curse that has evidently been bestowed upon me by someone whom I have evidently upset through this life OR..... I must have been someone horribly wretched in my past life to be subjected to this one. I am guessing Lizzie Borden.
OK..... I have an awful confession to make. It may be frightening to some...disturbing to others. I am TOTALLY addicted to The Anna Nicole Show that plays on E! Entertainment. I know... I know... I dont understand it either. I totally enjoy watching her roaming through the day drugged out of her mind. Her biggest dilemma being IF she can fit into the same dirty old GUESS jeans she wore the day before. The Anna Nicole Marathon begins tonight at 8pm on E! and then at 10pm The Holiday Show premieres. Promises to be filled with Dwarfs and Drag Queens and Anna Nichole mixing her daily prescribed pain killers and anti depressants with Liquor and Beer. I watch this show in awe at some of the things that this reject from HEE-HAW does and the funny part is that she has absolutely NO clue what she is doing. For example while in a limo Anna decides to become more "knowledgeable" about todays current events. When inquiring about the crisis in the Middle East Anna asks "Who is killing the Jews?" and then when informed about the current Suicide Bombings...Anna replies..."Now why would they do that...Don't they think it would kinda hurt?". DUH!!!! I wonder if this is what "LeStatt" use to mean when he would refer to me as being "GOOFY" during my drug days/nights?
"And The Days Go By...Like A Strand In The Wind------In This Webb That Is My Own....I Begin Again"
EDGE OF SEVENTEEN: Stevie Nicks
Album Title: BELLADONNA
This is how I chose the name for my blog (in case you are wondering)
Just A Thought: When asked if I am currently "dating" someone in particular. I respond "Who Needs Another Label"?
Well Its off to work tonight. It is truly amazing how long a 12 hour graveyard shift truly is. I mean I have done them many years ago...BUT I was also HIGH then AND found a corner to pass out in. HEY Everyone did it. They just were actually naturally sleepy. I GUESS? Had a bit of "Wild Sex" last night. Both of us have markings to prove it. Did You ever find that belt LaStatt? LMAO. I can not believe how quickly Christmas is sneaking up on me this year. I am usually the type who starts in the summer. Finding things here and there and stashing them away. My nephew visited for a bit this afternoon. He always asks me questions that totally floor me. He *IS* only six. He said to me " We dont have a chimney for Santa Claus to come through to bring my presents. How is he going to get in"? I said "Well JellyBean i guess we will have to leave the door unlocked so he can come in that way". His response "UNC... If we wait for him to come in the house through the door we can call the police and say he is a burgular...THEN he will give me ALL the toys he has for everybody cause he wont want to go to JAIL". I can imagine the deviousness he will dwell into when he is a teenager if he thinks this way now. Then again,why should this surprise me... this *IS* the same kid that called his grandmother a "Nasty Bitch" when he heard her fart as she tried to get up from the couch.
Tried a new recipe today entitled Cheese Fritatta. It turned out very well. Only thing is that the recipe article called it an Appetizer and it truly is not. After trying it i realized that this is more of a breakfast quiche. Thank you Debbie for the wonderful home grown herbs for these recipes. She is a doll. The new job is going well. Have received alot of compliments about my work production. Life isn't all that bad "clean". Recently purchased the new Christina Aguilera CD. This is a great CD. I am not one for R & B music but this girl can sing her ass off. The songs DIRTTY,BEAUTIFUL AND MAKE ME OVER are the my faves. I am sure Goddamn Thomas will view this differently. LOL. But hey,,, i think one of the things that actually enables us to get along so well are our different views on music and of course i can not forget to mention the " DIBBS" game. (wink). Ok and he is a great guy. The list below completes the "things about me" list.
51. I am a smoker
52. Cigarettes of course
53. I hate Sushi
54. Goddamn Thomas should as well
55. I am a shy person
56. Viewed as "quiet"
57. Wanted to marry Samantha Fox as a teenager
58. Consider Samantha "THE Most Beautiful Woman" in the world
57. Enjoy many of her earlier recordings though they technically suck
58. Samantha however does NOT "Suck" (wink)
59. She is a lesbian
60. I can guard a secret with my life
61. I protect the ones i care about
62. I can be very loyal in all respects
63. Though i have a hard time being faithful in a committed relationship
64. Have always known I would not live past 40.
65. I have a very perceptive 6th sense.
66. I HATE liers
67. Can ALWAYS spot a lie
68. Upon turning 30 I have become a more "balanced" individual
69. My favorite author is NORA ROBERTS
70. Could care less what others think of me
71. Fuck them and feed them beans to those who judge me
72. Bond better with women verses men.
73. NO man can be trusted
74. I know this because i am one
75. I have been to ALL STATE REGIONALS twice for singing my Sophmore and Senior years in High School
76. Placed 2nd in the State both times
77. I have a good ear for harmony
78. My singing voice is entirely TOO HIGH for having NOT been castrated
79. My grandmother and I use to sing ALL the time when i was a child
80. She had a beautiful voice
81. Enrique Iglesias and Freddy Prinze Jr. are My "Babies Daddys".
82. They dont know this
83. I am sure i would be denied child support if i attempted
84. Both of my sisters prefer black men sexually
85. I have never been with a black man
86. Prefer Jewish,Greek,Italian or Latino men
87. Prefer circumsized to uncircumsized cocks
88. UNcircumsized cocks look like "dicks wearing turtle necks"
89. Prefer living in the country to the city
90. Enjoy spending time alone
91. Keeps me sane
92. I have NO regrets
93. My favorite song is "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For You" by Stevie Nicks
94. I HATE Britany Spears
95. I believe she has more plastic in her than at a TUPPERWARE party
96. I collect Fairies and James Dean memorialbilia
97. I believe EVERYONE has a story
98. Everyone deserves to be heard
99. Not everyone is kind
100. But anyone can change
Ok. I am going to jump on this train with the rest of the "gang". I am going to do this blog thing. Give it a try and see if this is truly worth my time. I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Ronnie. Its not my real name,but it does suit me i think. It was bestowed upon me by my lunatic of a father. The only good thing he ever truly has done for me infact. I am a 30 year old gay male who was born and raised in a very old fashioned small town. A town that to this day has refused to take that step into the 21st century. I was raised by my mothers parents from the age of 6 months until i was 12. That is when my grandmother passed away and I had to return home. It was also at that point in my life that i discovered that nothing is ever here to stay on this earth and I walked away from the religion of Christianity and stepped into being a Wiccan. A choice that I have no regrets of and find this to be one of the saving graces in my life. I have decided for this first entry to include a list of things about me. To allow others a chance to understand me.
1. I am a 30 year old gay white male
2. First felt sexual lust for another guy at 6 years old.
3. He was 12..
4. When I was 11 years old I gave him a blow job for his Wonder Woman dart board
5. Had no idea what I was doing.. Nor did I understand why his dick "throwed up" in my mouth
6. He then came over everyday to see if I wanted to "Come outside and play"
7. Have had sex with 4 women in my life
8. Hated it ..... but had to blend (so I felt)
9. Played football in high school my junior and senior year
10. Looked forward to "hitting the showers" after the games.
11. Once weighed 285 lbs.
12. Then lost 147 lbs..
13. I now weigh 218.4 lbs (to be exact)
14. I am a recovering drug addict
15. Shot up Morphine and/or Demerol subcutaneously everyday,3 times day for 2 years
16. Dropped that to become addicted to Vicodin ES,Percocet and Tylenol # 3 for 4 years
17. Have been clean for 1 month now
18. Could not have done it with out Goddamn Thomas and his encouraging words
19. He is my "Dad"
20. Have been a nurse for 6 years
21. Hate my career.
22. No respect and no pay
23. Have fucked a med student while on duty in The Emergency Room
24. He was kicked out of Med School
25. I am a HUGE Stevie Nicks fan.
26. Have seen her twice in concert
27. A personal autographed 8 x 10 pic of Stevie is my most prized possesion
28. Would totally fuck Stevie Nicks if i had the chance
29. I write poetry
30. Have had 1 poem published nationally
31. I have 2 sisters and am an Uncle for three great kids
32. My little sister is my best friend
33. I want kids
34. But know i will never have any
35. Have been to the U.K. 3 times and lived in Alaska for 6 months
36. Want to be in a porn movie
37. Be gang banged with atleast 6 guys or so
38. My favorite thinking place is at my grandmothers grave
39. I talk to her everyday even though she has passed away
40. I hate rap music
41. I love Delta Burke
42. My mother refers to me as her daughter
43. My closest of friends jokingly refer to me as "Suzanne Sugarbaker"
44. My friend Lanie and I met in the 7th grade and are still closest of friends to this day
45. I am the god father to her 2 children
46. I am a licensed hair cutter
47. I am totally receding
48. MY nice ass makes up for that
49. I have a pussy named Black Velvet
50. No he is not named after the 80's song about Elvis
