And The Days Go By......Like A Strand In The Wind
I have decided to begin a trivia quiz everyday for other Stevie Nicks fans. It will include a verse from one of Stevies songs and you have to guess what song it is from. I will provide a link for the answer. It is not an origional idea as this is done on Stevies Official Web site. But i think it is alot of fun......AND sometimes I even get stumped.
Trivia verse: That Is How Songs Are Written......Stories Are Told. Rumours Are Started.
Answer:
LYRIC ANSWER
Returned from Minneapolis. Had a great time there. Met alot of new friends when we ventured out to a club and stumbled into a "Bear Coffee and Tea Retreat". Everyone was realy friendly and for the majority were very very WOOFY!!! Surprisingly the Flight there was smooth. Security was at every check point and as far as time goes.. the "searching/Clearance" area was thorough yet quick.Of course, i never have lived down by Mark my traveling with my personal autograph 8 x 10 of Stevie Nicks. I explained to him that she goes with me on every flight i have ever taken. LOL. While there they were calling for snow but it only turned out to be a light dusting. Traffic was surprisingly speedy. No rush hour crap. But it was chilly there i do have to say so I am thankful for my long black leather trench coat. I did some writing (surprise) while I was there. Needs some working on but I will post what i have so far.
Maybe They'll Be Together In Another Life
Cause Right Now-----He Doesn't Feel That Her Heart Is Real
A Ruler So Overwhelming.........A Soul You See Right Through
And She..........Knows He's The Only One Who Can Do It.
No------I Can't Forget The Magic..........Of Those Blue Eyes
But It Coincides........With A....Soft September Rain
And If---------------Only He Can Conquer All Those
Battles.......Those Demons In His Mind
He Will Hold Onto To Everything
A Father Of Time.
He Sweeps Past Her With His..........Charles Dickens Character
Top Hat And Scarf----------And His Under Rated Presence
Stop Down By Here Again.....She Says
With A Queen Of Hearts Wickedness
A Mad Hatter Smile............
But He Sees Right Through It.
No----------I Can't Forget The Magic................Of Those Blue Eyes
But I .........Coincide-----With A Soft September Rain.........And If----
Only He Can Conquer All Those Battles
Those Demons In His Mind
He Could Hang Onto Everything
A Father Of Time
It seems the release of Fleetwod Mac's PEACEKEEPER with Lindsey Buckingham on leads, is falling prey to the Stevie Nicks track THROWN DAY,which is garnishing more attention. Wasn't this the sort of destruction that destroyed Stevie and Lindseys relationship and ultimately HIS leaving the band. Stevie has said in many interviews that Lindsey would get very upset because she could sit down and write a song in like 5 minutes and they would turn into the biggest hits off of the FleetWood Mac albums. Its really great to have Lindsey back in the band.....BUT in truth there would be NO Fleetwood Mac today if there were no Stevie Nicks.
THROWN DOWN
Here is a great link to the VH1 BEHIND THE MUSIC of Stevie Nicks. Great reading.
Stevie Nicks Behind The Music
Spent the better part of my day today shopping. Wondering what to buy for Marks and I trip to Minneapolis. He has a conference to attend there for one day so we are going to make a weekend of it. It should be fun. A little skeptical of flying though with the war happening. But i guess its like Mark says " Whats Meant To Be Will Be, Your Demise Is Already Planned Regardless". Comforting words. lol. I did do some writing this afternoon. I will post now.
Where Is The Consciousness
Has It Gone So Far Away From Here
Yes, I've Crossed The Same Paths Twice
And I Burn A Candle For Light
-----Oh And Luck..............It Seems To Always
Burn Out For The Sake Of Love
So------It Is Time.
When Will I See You Again He Says?
Maybe In A Hundred Years
I Cross Roads To Stare At Your Balcony
To Ensure...........That You Are Still There------------
She Climbs Down Her Stairs
In Touch With...........Her Softenss And Fears
He Says I........Have Burned A Candle For You
------Oh And Luck, Meet Me In My Dreams
There Where The Oceans Meet The Seas
So----Its Time
Cast A Spark Of Light To See
He Says It's........Always Been Me
And Always Will-----
Don't....Burn Out For The Sake Of Love
Touch The Softness Of Your Earth
And Just-----Follow The Mind
Back To Those---------Imprisoned Men From Your Time
Listen To That Voice Within
He Says Still...........It's Always Been Me
And Always Will-------------
My best friend in the whole entire world,Marie,has joined blogger. She is the only person in the entire world who knows all and everything about me. She has started school for her R.N. and has developed a blog regarding nursing. This counts as 50% percent of a grade for her and her wish her all the best. I love you Ree. I posted her direct link next B Brain Freeze
Mark.............
I Sing These Words.......
Time And Time Again
To Express My Life..........
Of Being Your Lover And Your Friend
And As The Clouds High Above Shed Their Tears-------
I'll Embrace You
With Love From All Your Fears
You Say..........I Am The One........
The One That You Love
And I Am The One...........That You Think Of
I Am.....I Am......I Am The One.
A Passion In Your Caress
Flows From Your Fingertips.............
And You Pray For The Day
To Hear Those Precious Words...........Pass Through My Lips
And You Wish On The Moon------Every Star in Sight Above
That Soon I Will Look At You And Say..........
Its You........The One That I Love
Yes...You Are...You Are....You Are The One.
You Say.........Don't Make Me Feel Crazy
I May Break Down And Cry..........Oh No...Don't Say You Love Me
Until Your Positive You'll Try
Find That Angel----------That You Seek Out At Night
Like That Inspiration.............I Want To Be Part Of Your Life
So..........I Now Say........
You Are...........You Are............You Are The One
I Found The Hope, I Found The Strength
At Last I Found My Heart
Just When I Thought I Was Drowning
I Fought With Every Breath
And So To Ashes In The Wind....................Our Life....Our Life....Our LIfe...........Begins
Since the begining of Marks and I courtship. He is always doing special spontaneous things for me. So....FINALLY... I am NEARLY finished what I have been writing for him. Its been kind of hard cause I actually have written this as lyrics and have put music to it. Guitar. I have always enjoyed playing guitar and can play LANDSLIDE and sing too all taught by ear. So To Mark... this will sums up how we began in the begining. You offering me dinnner,my declining,my being drawn to you then after,different things you have said to me.........and how we both feel etc etc. I should finished by tomorrow
Madonna's new video AMERICAN LIFE is due out on April 14th. The much hyped controversial video is in its final stages of editing as we speak. Here is a link to view AMERICAN LIFE Video still and what can only be her next biggest media controversy since PEPSI and LIKE A PRAYER.
MADONNA'S NEW VIDEO AMERICAN LIFE
Tonight There Are No Survivors
His Night Outside My Window
And The Sun Turns Away.........
As The Moon Rolls Over The Mountain
And You Are Lost In Your Dreaming----------Where Is The Wild White Rose..........
And Yes---------You Are The Modern One
I Am The Old Fashioned............Their Eyes Lock............He Extends His Hand
He Walks Up To Him................His Eyes------------Full Of Passion...........
And They Danced
DESIGNING WOMEN:
Scenario: Asked to redesign the home of a Mistress to a Millionaire. The Girls and Anthony go to meet with her. The MIstress,who also sculpts,refers to Anthony as a "Big,Black,Beautiful Buck and asks if he would like to to be sculpted.
Suzanne:"Big,Black,Beautiful Buck. Hmph. I'm just gonna call the NAACP and turn her name in. I mean,that is a racial slur if I ever heard one!
Mary Jo: And YOU oughta know.
Irish Born Hottie Colin Farrel is set to make his music debut with a remake of The Clash Classic "I Fought The Law (And The Law Won)". Taken from his soon to be released Irish Independant movie INTERMISSION.
Colin Farrel's Singing Debut
As I got home from work this morning, I popped on line to check email and send a quick Instant Message to my little sis. The Most interesting thing has just happened to me and I have to say that I feel rather good about the whole thing. As i was online, an instant message came from someone who I did not know. Upon chatting with them this mystery person began telling me that his name is Keith. he lives off of Laskin Rd in Virginia Beach and had just moved here not long ago from Ohio to be with his partner,David,who is serving in the Military. He doesnt know anyone here and is basically alone while his husband is over seas amongst this war that has evolved. He seemed really genuine about clearly wanting to meet people and make friends. So after a bit of chatting he asked if I would call him.
I am really glad that i did. He voiced his concerns and his worries about his husband and we talked for over an hour. Both us talking about life and dreams and our current relationships. We realized while talking that we have so much in common relationship and entertainment wise. Keith is 41. David is 29. I am 30. Mark is 43. David steming from a Latino background. Mark being from Cuban descent. Both us LOVE Stevie Nicks. Both of us Wiccans. Rather cool. While we were talking I was thinking to myself what a great and wonderful opportunity I was having at the moment helping to comfort and listen to someone who's ENTIRE life was gone for the present moment. All he had been given was a ring from his husband to keep incase he didn't return. That I had been chosen by some force of nature to be online at that VERY moment to listen to and most importantly,after a phone call,have now become friends with Keith.
Everyone please do their part and email our men and women of the armed forces who are in flight to protect America and our people. The link I have added here is a way for you to email our military and show your support.
Military Email
Stevie Nicks wrote the song DESERT ANGEL for the U.S. Troops while serving in The Gulf War....and even today it seems fitting. DESERT ANGEL
As America prepares for war......many things run through my mind. Mainly,IS this the answer? How will this affect the children around us? How will this affect our daily ways of living-------and how close to home will this emerge? I pray for our military. I pray for their families. To those miltary personel who have not seen the letter that has been wirtten for them by Stevie Nicks........I give you this link.
STEVIES LETTER FOR THE TROOPS
If anyone has come to view this blog in hopes of seeing a post that was presented here earlier. I am sorry to disappoint you. It is gone. Out of sheer anger and retaliation I placed something on here that truly should NOT have been. For a week or so now, a blogger has been writing negative personal comments about me. I said NOTHING then in any of my prior postings. I allowed the snickering/child like antics and or comments continue. Then yesterday they decided to place my name onto their blog and attempted to describe me as someone who I am not. Yes...I have my problems---------Everyone does. I am not perfect and have never claimed to be.
My blog is for ME. MY feelings,MY thoughts,MY journal. So attempting to take this information and then proceed to base my entire life on this information alone, then make judgement is careless and ill informed information.
NEVER have I meant to hurt Tom in any way. Many of you do not know the whole reason WHY things eneded as they did for him and I. I have never posted anything in this blog to hurt Tom. I think entirely to much of him as a person AND a friend to ever do that.
I enjoy ALL of his friends. Each one has a unique and special characteristic that they present to the table to share.And they are ALL good people. The first time that I met some of them,I will admit,I was not met with the warmest of receptions. I placed all of that behind me and attempted to move forward with them AND Tom. But, i will not lie and say that i did not feel that resentment was held against me for whatever nature.
So....if anyone expects anymore mud throwing from my end------You will find none. i regret having said what I said and I am truly sorry. I should not have allowed myself to become emotionally affected by everything that has been directed towards me in the past week or so. And....i truly wish for everyone the best that life has to offer them.........
The Dixie Chicks were amidst a huge backlash when performing in Bossier City, LA. Lead singer,Natalie Maines told a London audience last week,in reference to President Bush's push for military action against Iraq,"Just so you know,we're ashamed the President Of The United States is from Texas". Saturday nights protesters were largely country music fans. Using a 33,000-pound tractor to destroy compact discs and other items,a few hundred protestors lashed back.
Radio stations nationwide are boycotting the Chicks,even though Natalie Maines publicly apologized for her statement in London. 2 local radio stations WCMS-FM and WGH-FM have stopped playing the groups music.
So What About The Moon And Her Sisters...........
How Dare He Take Them Prisoner
Well,If She Had Flung Out Her Heart Against Him
Then In All Of Her Wisdom
Oh........Well..........That Was A Mystery
Ok for some reason this new template will NOT allow me to add the other links i had posted to my old one. Everytime i try to add everyone. It reads "error 203". Whatever the fuck that means? So just bare with me for a day or so guys.
Today I finally got a call from Sentera Health Care. This,of course,is after like a month after applying. Anyway, spoke with a lady named Theresa and she wants me to come and talk with her on thursday and see what she has to offer. Of all the times to now to call me back....
Song: IF YOU WANT TO
Artist: MICHELLE BRANCH
and he says to me.........
If You Want To
I Can Save You
I Can Take You Away From Here
So Lonely Inside
So Busy Out There
And All You Need Is Somebody Who Cares
Back from Rehobeth and had a really great time. It was so nice to see Mike again. His partner Steve is really nice to. We all went and saw a movie,ate dinner, went to The Double L Bar. I hadn't had a more enjoyable time out to that bar since the last time that my friend Allen and I went. We all went to the beach. Walked and it was so peaceful. I was up late last night. Which is nothing unusual for me. I do my best thinking at night. Alot of things have been going through my head lately. When Mark and i first started it was cool. It was a friend/fuck thing. Mark has been very upfront from the begining that he wanted more. He made no qualms about that. And I AM getting older.
He is everything that I look for in a guy. He is honest,smart,funny,cute/sexy. He doesnt attempt to hide the things he doesnt know behind his intellect. He is a physician. He is established in a good career. Most importantly, he is kind,giving and thinks alot about how I feel and if i am having a good time. So what is the problem u may say?
Well.... I have not told Mark about my Pill Popping-Morphine-Demerol injecting past. I don't know how he will react. A part of me says that it IS in the past and is nothing that would arise today.....BUT i cant get out of my head what he said to me. That being "All i ever want from you is to make you happy, I want HONESTY, NO SECRETS,No HIDING ANYTHING". I talked with Mike and he said that I should NOT tell Mark. My girlfriend Marie says YES tell him? I just don't know. I try to listen for answers but only crowded voices emerge. I simply, just do NOT know.
Geri Halliwell........a LESBIAN???? NOOO...YOU DON'T SAY (Rolling Eyes)
Lesbian Geri
With the Broadway Musical Chicago having transformed from the stage to the Big Screen with such success. It was only a matter of time for the powers to be to attempt this feat again. The musical CATS is being cast as we speak and guess who has already been snagged?
Minogue Knows
Sorry that I haven't blogged since technically 03/10/03,but i have just been busy and trying to get alot of things done with these past few days off. Tomorrow i am so thankful I actually have a day shift to work. 3 more weeks thats all i keep reminding myself. We had dinner the other night in Va Beach at a great seafood place i had never eaten at before called "CROAKERS". Was really good. (Mental note, we have to go back there). Today I have basically been trying to get some cleaning done so that i do not have to worry about that when we return from Rehobeth Sunday.We both on not spending too much money shopping in the outlets. LOL. I finally was able to get up with a good friend of mine,Mike,that i have been missing on my last ventures up that way. BUT, FINALLY got in touch with him. So we are going to stay with him and go out and all that jazz. Took my nephew to get his hair cut today,since he decided to play "Barbershop". What am I going to do with him?? LOL. Love him, thats what.
A Still Life Portrait
A View From My Window
Touched By An Innocence........Now Fading Away
Into A Quiet Storm------With The Tears From An Angel
Falling Around Me.............As I'm Watching The Days
Well.......its a strange kind of love affair
A symphony of sorts
A strange kind of love affair
A declaration of war
No I wont be here tomorrow night.........you wont see me smiling
Tomorrow when its very dark-----no crying
Artist:Stevie Nicks: Song::Kick It:Album:STREET ANGEL
I am SO MAD I could literally spit nails!!!! Since I have been working at the nursing home that I am currently employed with I have been NOTHING but civil and pleasant to this nurse. Her name is Kathy Davis. I have known her for a very long time as a matter of fact,even BEFORE i started working at this nursing home. Everybody who knows her truly does NOT have nice things to say about her. She is an evil,lying.backstabbing bitch who is a constant complainer and trouble maker. She pretends to be so sweet and so caring to the residents and she is so totally transparent with it that it is nauseating.
Anyway....while getting report from Debbie,whom I absolutely love and adore,she said to me "After report,walk me to my car because I overheard something that you DEFINETELY need to be made aware of". So after report i followed her and she said to me "Kathy Davis said that her daughter saw you out dining with Dr.Clarke and that there is more going on with the two of you than what is lead to believe". Kathy came back to work and told EVERYONE and she added that "it seems fitting that you would some how find a way to get what you want. You have always been the sort to do just that......A Schedule change and a supposed raise (Though i cant figure out how she learnt that cause i have told no one) and that with Dr. Clarke so head over heels for you he will see to it that you are kept happy". So soon she "expects me to have a desk job there and fall into the clique with the rest of the administration type and will see to it that I get what i want whenever I want". I can NOT believe this bitch!!!! I have NEVER done anything to her. Except for the time when i first started working there and was asked by another nurse if i knew her and i said "Yes...i know Kathy...have known her for years....she was working at the county jail as the nurse but was relieved of her duties when she found having sexual relations with an inmate". Thats all i said. EVERYONE knew it. It certainly was nothing that was a secret. and nothing that was NOT expected from her manless,hateful ass. Debbie swore that i would not say anything to her. So being Debbies friend i will not. I respect her and care for her way to much to do that. BUT I will get her. She can bank on that. I will be tracing her nursing notes and medication dispensing records with a fine tooth comb. She is bound to fuck up. Since working at this new job, i was promised all along,way before Mark,that i would be receiving a daytime position. Due to the expierence that i have with past jobs and etc. The pay raise came as much as a surprise to me than anyone. I did not ask for it, I was given it DUE to the background work expierence that I have and the good work that I have shown since I have been employed with this new job. It just amazes me that she would do such an intentional act of cruelty towards to me. So now, some of the nurses will not even talk while I am around out of fear of passing information on. Which i would NEVER do!! These nurses and nursing assistants are my friends!! And I do NOT take those words lightly................So I am TRYING to remind myself of the old adage...."IN WITH ANGER OUT WITH LOVE"
I really need to stop eating out so much. On wed night I was taken to the Island House Resturant by mark which has really GREAT seafood. FYI: Jimmy Buffett actually flies into The Shore to get Crab cakes from there. Thursday evening, We went to The Trawler Resturant which also has great food. It was recently taken over by a same sex male couple from New York and i think the food has actually improved believe it or not. Tonight we went to see The new Steve Martin and Queen Latifah movie which is Hysterical. I have truly began to enjoy The Queens acting since her knock out performance in CHICAGO. Afterwards went to Captain George's. I am about "Seafood" sick. Last night,afterwards, I had Mark produce to me the FleetWood Mac tickets just for my self verification. LOL. I know, NO i am not materialistic just dont fuck with me and my dream of seeing Stevie with FleetWood Mac. Who i have never had the privilidge of seeing together on the same stage live. So my mind has been swimming. I will be 8 rows from Stevie,how long will it take me to get to the stage to shake her hand after the encore? She always somes to the stage towards the end. What gift can i give her? How can i beat people in the head, who may get in my way, to obtain this handshake without being arrested? This will take ALOT of planning and calculating.
I Just finished reading "GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL DOLL" The Anna Nicole Story. I will post my comments later. Though not an autobiography. It certainly sheds light on why Anna is the way she is intellectually and mentally.The one thing i truly could have done without are the Nude Photos taken of Anna Pre-Playboy. Lets just say they certainly did not cause me to obtain an erection of any sorts.
I hope that Tom is having a great time with his sister visiting. Chas i really enjoyed going out and having dinner with you after seeing The Hours. Great conversation and a good person. Jenn, I hope that you and Steve are having a great weekend and are having fun trying to make the baby. Micheal and Joe hope u all get to see each other the weekend and have lots of sex. Bob, hope the new store is going well and we really need to get together and have lunch and get to know each other better,maybe we can get Todd to go as well.
OK. Here is the best news that I had in like the past year. I am going to see FLEETWOOD MAC at the MCi Center in Washington D.C. on May 9th. Mark called me this morning and told me that he had purchased us 2 of the $125.00 Floor Seat Tickets because he knew how badly I wanted to go. Is he GREAT or what? SIGH......
You Throw Her Down
Unbeknownst To Him.........She Pushes Him Away
And--------He Thinks That She Is Here To Stay
(But You Are Wrong)
In Rolls Night...........And She Is Comfort In His Arms
Day Light breaks---------Then Another Storm Will Soon Start
She Is His Peace Keeper..........Completes His Second half
But It Won't Last
And That Is Your Cross To Bear
And The Friends All View Her............As This Silly Little Dreamer
A Shy One Yes--------But Then...........They Don't Really See Her
And They Wonder What The Arrangement Is
They Discuss This Amongst Themselves
But She Doesn't Care............Because
That Is Their Cross To Bear
She Is Her Own.............Yes-------She's Her Own
Destiny Of Fate
And Soon He Will Awake..............Into The Self Composed Exile In Which He Has Made
And She Will Not Care
And Thats One Cross.......... That She Will Be Happy To Bear
Ronnie:2003
DESIGNING WOMEN:
SCENARIO: Suzanne Tries To Get Charlene A Date To Make Bill Jealous. Julia Warns Charlene Of Suzannes Medeling.
Julia: Suzanne And I Once Had A Mutual friend Named Robert. He Was Having Marriage Difficulties. Suzanne Became His Coach. After A Few
Months He Became.................Roberta.
And He Was Hurting--------Though He Refused His Tears To Show
He Says........"That Well Ran Dry Many Moons Ago"
So Draw Me Up Another One
I Can Inject Its Happiness Carefully And Slow
And I Try Hard To Fight These Demons
Still..........They Are All I Have Ever Known
So Swallow Your Cure---------Relish Its Pleasure
Dig Yourself That Early Grave
The Voices Say........."Go Back To The Love........ To The Only Love You Have Ever Known"
Ronnie:2003
I have been doing alot of writing these past few days. Creating and going back to what i truly have missed doing. Many people do not understand what my writing means to me....and how breathing life into creations from specific moments/situations from everyday living and turning them into a creation is a truly wonderful thing. My writings can live forever even after my very being has evaporated into unseen energy and the memory of my existance is all one has left to remember.
Many people feel that those who write poetry/lyrics and are not famous for them are "silly" of sorts. When nothing can be further from the truth. I can only speak for myself,but for me, its a means of escaping.....and allowing others a chance to get to know me when in other situations I do not permit them too. I am a very private person. Many know this. But with my writings....people are able to see MORE of me than by sitting down and holding a conversation with me. I was once told by my Creative Writing instructor that my writings are thought provoking and mysterious. I have a way of creating characters and images that ones mind can actually picture while reading.....and when one is finished they are left with questions often confusion. THAT is writing. He was the only one to fully understand that in my writings regardless of what sex or the words used for their referal. They are ME, in one sense or the other.
YOU NEVER LOVED THE SOFTNESS OF MY SOUL
AND YET,YOU STAYED WITH ME SO VERY LONG
YOU SAID YOU DID NOT HAVE TO BE TOLD
AND SO........I MOVED ON
WITH HIM IT WAS SO DIFFERENT AS BEFORE
IT SEEMED HE COULD SEE RIGHT THROUGH MY SOUL
AND I WANTED HIM
YES,I WANTED HIM MUCH MORE
AND I SAID "ANGEL,I ADORE"
AND I MOVED ON...........
I TOOK MY DREAMS AND MY LOVE
I WENT QUIETLY
SILENTLY SLIPPING AWAY
I TRIED HARD
BUT GLASS FIGURES BREAK SO EASILY
AND IN SOME WAYS YES
AND IN SOME WAYS NO
IT BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE
STILL I HAD TO GO.............
I WENT DANCING UP TO HIM
WITH RHINESTONE EYES THAT SAID
"WELL, I'D LIKE TO KNOW"
I FLEW WITH THE STARS
I WAS WITHIN
WITHIN, WITH HIM----------ONLY MEANT ALONE
AND I MOVED ON
I TOOK MY DREAMS AND MY LOVE
I SAID "ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN HELD"
AND HE SAID "I COULD HOLD YOU FOR DAYS"
HE MADE LOVE TO ME..........WITH HIS EYES ESPECIALLY
I SMILED TO KNOW I'D FINALLY FOUND MY PLACE
I'M GOING HOME
I 'LL TAKE MY DREAMS AND MY LOVE
I'LL GO QUIETLY
SILENTLY MAKING MY WAY
I'LL TRY HARD............TO LOVE-------MORE THAN ANYTHING
Ronnie:2003
FleetWood Mac is AOL's Artist Of The Month. Begining tomorrow you can listen to the New FleetWood Mac single "Peace Keeper" in its entireity. "Peace Keeper" will be the first single released from the bands brand new studio album "Say You Will" which is scheduled for release here in The States on April 15th.
Peace Keeper
The cover of "Say You Will" is a bit disappointing. It is a take off of a photo previously done before by the band with an inside liner photo from their "Tusk" album.
Say You Will Album Cover Photo
So I Am Going Away For A Little While
To Remember How To Feel
And If I Find The Answers............I Promise You
I'll Come Back To Get You............
Stevie Nicks: Blue Denim
(How fitting)
Today i went to Barbaras funeral. A very emotional and also ironically a self examining time for me. She looked beautiful and so at peace. No cares and no worries. My D.O.N. phoned me today and asked if she could have a moment of my time. We discussed somethings and she informed me of the very complimentary statement that Dr. Mark Clarke wrote in regards to me and my work. He is a nice man. We also discussed my schedule. I walked away a very happy and satisfied man. And a bit richer too,which is always comforting
When i got home today,my mother greeted me at the door to inform me of some bad news. A friend and co-worker of mine passed away Friday morning. I was in her wedding not even a year ago and we worked together in various settings for many years. She had Lupus and was an R.N. She underwent Corrective Knee surgery and unfortunately her Lupus flared up afterwards. Attacking her lungs. She had 2 chest tubes placed to drain off the accumulating fluid and before being placed onto a ventilator she asked a mutual friend to contact me and let me know she was in the I.C.U. She is being buried Monday at 3pm. I will miss her very very much.
Yes......the woman was beautiful
And ----yes......she had a hard life
But she could look a challenge......straight between the eyes
In many ways.........stronger than myself
In others..........weaker than my addictions
But the woman grew tired.........and thought it best to escape
Into another dimension...............into a better place
Ronnie:2003
And so i say Good-bye to you Barbara........we will meet again...........soon
Have you ever done something that you know is truly wrong..........but still it is clawing at your very soul to go ahead and do it anyway----------knowing what the preprocussions will be??? Well,,, i did it.........and my witches intuition was EXACTLY correct. Do i have any regrets in having done it now? Absolutely none. In many ways I am my own worst enemy. No...just so you know I have not relapsed.
I want to type this now not primarily for anyone........but myself. Years from now I can look back onto this entry and review it. Analyze it. Will I feel the same way? Would I react the same way? Of everything I have ever known or felt it is to never allow anyone to know everything about you. Lover or friend. Nothing is forever and many times the hurt and anger of it all is not worth it in the end. When someone gets to that point in my life of just knowing me. I immediately place detours or in some cases shut them up. I know that this is not a healthy way,,,,,,,,,but for me it is the only way I know. I truly believe that it all evokes from losing my grandmother at such a young and important age in my life. She raised me from when i was 6 months of age until her passing when i was 12 years old. I miss her so much sometimes it hurts. When i lost her i lost my mother........my best friend. It led me to believe that nothing lasts forever and it does absolutely no good to love. Because it just hurts to much in the end.
I know that I am not the most intellectual person. And at times I do say some rather dumb things. People ( No names) have even viewed me as a racist. Which is so untrue. My best friend is Jewish. My nephew,who is my heart,is bi-racial. I do not need to defend myself on this accusation because it is an ignorant view on me. It simply shows me that the one person who I thought KNEW me.............does not.
So, I (yes ME) will go through life swooning and enraptured like Stevie Nicks...........
Always stay one step ahead..........when your heart is the price you'll pay.
